Kevin Hench prefers spousal abuse to cell phone calls

Foxsports.com isn't all bad. They get contributions from some pretty level-headed people -- Jason Whitlock for example. However, being a Newscorp property means once in awhile you have one Aryan Brother let loose on the real villains: minorities. When Kevin Hench penned the eagerly anticipated "Biggest Jerks of MLB's First Half" he accidentally wrote, "A list of minorities that gets my blood'a'boilin'!" Proof? Brett Myers is #10. The guy that called a reporter a "retard" and viciously abused his wife trails 8 minorities on the list. And what exactly did these guys do that is worse than any day in the life of Brett Myers? Al Reyes got drunk and Omar Minaya fired Willie Randolph by email (Hench also criticizes the Mets for playing in Flushing). Ozzie Guillien really is a jerk, but Hench thinks it's because he cursed at Chicago fans for being a bunch of Cub marks. Guillen is actually a jerk because he thinks Jim Thome doesn't bunt enough. Milton Bradley tried to go after an announcer that compared his problems unfavorably to a crack addict (read Alan Schwarz's kick-ass article on Bradley and Josh Hamilton). Manny Ramirez made a phone call during a pitching change and got in a scuffle when Kevin Youkilis acted like a child during a blowout Red Sox win. Barry Bonds, a player who is being blackballed by MLB, had charges added to his trial. As a baseball fan though, I think the GMs that refuse to sign Bonds are the real jerks. Not letting a guy play because your PR department doesn't want to deal with the press is not a good reason to avoid signing one of the best hitters to ever live. Alex Rodriguez became the first professional athlete to ever cheat on his wife (not that Hench has any proof) and Shaun Chacon threw a Houston Astros exec to the ground (I actually have no defense for this). The only white guy besides Myers (who is a wife beater) to be mentioned was Roger Clemens. The funny thing is, Clemens is being brow-beaten for taking steroids and lying, but not the revelation that he had a sexual relationship with a teenage girl in the 80s. I know the list is limited to the first half of this MLB season, but it seems like Myers punching his wife in the face could have a carry-over effect. I mean, Bonds being on here is clearly for past transgressions.

Sorry about this post. Not all columns are supposed to be funny